When you are like me you tend to hear a lot, see a lot, feel a lot, do a lot and so on. Let me share some of what I’ve seen and heard and felt and thought of, with you.
We all need the support of people at different stages of our lives. Family, colleagues in the office, church folks, neighbours and area boys, etc. There’s nothing wrong with asking for support when you need it. Admittedly, there are times when we also depend on these same people in life.
In my mind the thing about depending on people is that there ought to be an exit strategy sooner rather than later. Other people have their lives to lead. They have other things that excite them. They have other priorities. The time they spend on you, the cash they spend on you, the emotions they spend on you – all of it – they could have spent elsewhere.
So when you refuse to learn to plan when to wean off your benefactors and be able to stand on your own, you will be found gravely wanting when they pull off their support.
Again, when you make dependency an integral part of your life, you tend to live your life at the behest of those you depend on. When they bark, you cow. You kowtow to their whims and caprices and you are left agonisingly frustrated when they threaten or refuse to give you what they have always given you. A bit like a drug addict left without a sniff, puff, or syringe.
Yes, some people are left with no choice but to depend on people. Not every beggar at a traffic intersection is left with no choice either than begging by the way. Others depend on people because they are lazy and don’t want to go through the regular hard work others go through to have been able to sort them out to the point of dependency.
Let’s take the convenient case of a young man who warms the bed of an older woman. He gets an apartment, a car (which is probably fuelled for him), regular pocket money, etc. He probably does not go to school nor takes it serious because hey, all the things (material, at least) school is supposed to help him get, he has them. In a typical case where the older woman does not allow her libido to rule her, and she decides to plug the goodies hole, imagine what the younger man faces: he’s faced with an accommodation problem, ego is so badly bruised in extraordinary cases he may take his life or attempt to take the life of the woman.
Not Everyone wishes you well
During my time in radio I did a news report which was widely regarded as being brilliant. It was one of those works one would want to keep as a trophy. I came back to the studio the morning after and the report had mysteriously disappeared from my personal folder, and from the news recordings of that day. I still have no idea who deleted that report.
People are generally territorial at work. A bit like lions. I don’t know what could make anyone think that others have finished doing their work and have nothing else to do aside amassing the jobs of others. But I think some people are territorial because they when others come too close they will notice how deficient they are. Or perhaps the fear that others are better qualified than they are for the jobs in question.
Some people simply have the panache to see others wither and fall whiles only they rise – so they stick out like sore thumbs. They will seek to undo whatever you do to succeed. To them their success depend on your failure even though your success may have nothing to do with their rise or fall. Watch your back, do your best, get Him on your side then you will rise beyond your widest imagination.
Life’s lessons – I shall be back on this.